Having done so appallingly so far at attempting to complete my day zero list, it is satisfying to know that I will be ticking three items off once this is posted!
As said in a previous post, I will tick off any ongoing goals as completed once I feel like they have become habit. Well, here is one of the big ones I really wanted to achieve; I am reading again.
To give you a little background, I applied to read English at university aged 17. I was good at it and found it pretty easy, so I thought 'why not'? The reason not to became apparent when I had an epiphany in class one day. It was simple, to the point, almost abrupt. The point was that I hated English. I hated it. I hated what felt to me like tearing literature apart limb from limb until so many limbs had been torn off that the soul of the story was no longer intact. I pulled out of university and, sadly, stopped reading. I had been so overcooked academically that I no longer had any wish to read.
Being 24 now, I wanted to make a concerted effort to reconcile myself to reading, an activity I had once savoured. Oh boy, have I ever! My appetite for books recently has been voracious. I have been gobbling up adventures, biographies, and more than a little Jane Austen (side note: if you are reading this and thinking that her books are 'just for girls', you are an idiot. Fact). I now read every night before bed without fail. It is distressing to me when I am almost anywhere after 10:30, because it means that I am not in bed. With my book. 'Why am I here?' I think to myself. 'Where is my camomile tea and my duvet? This is unacceptable.' FYI, I know I am an old lady, and I am TOTALLY OK with that.
We now come to the second item on the agenda, being fasting. This was a biggie. I love food. Food is central to my life. Rarely a night goes by without me spending at least 40 minutes cooking myself a meal. I eat well. I also eat a lot of meat. And sweeties. Ooooooooh sweeties.
I came to the realisation that food controls too much of my life. I eat when I am hungry, yes, but I also eat when I am sad. Or lonely. Or tired. Or even just bored. I wanted to discipline myself, and I felt that it was something God was saying, so I decided to do the Daniel fast for lent. This is essentially veganism with no sweets, bread or pasta. And I was grumpy. I mean, for a little while, I was just an unpleasant human being. However, I began to see the benefits, and I am now honestly able to say that vegans, vegetarians and all abstainers of food of some kind, I get it. No, really. I have never felt so clean and energetic in my life. It was bloody hard work, but so worth doing. It ain't ever gonna be permanent, but I might actually cut out all the crap in my diet every once in a while because I felt so good.
My last one was that I wanted to watch the sun rise over St Andrews. There is a lovely tradition here of a sunrise service on Easter. I went to it with my parents and, as with any small town, saw many familiar faces.
Now, I must be honest and tell you that I did not witness the entire sunrise. We came towards the tail end of it, but singing hymns in the ruins of a medieval cathedral overlooking the sea on a gorgeous, clear, crisp day is a pretty special thing. It was made all the more special when three dolphins started to jump out of the water in the bay. At this time, I should have been serene, taken it all in calmly and just meditated on the moment. But then, I am me. 'MUM!! MUUUUUUUM! LOOK! DOOOOOLPHIIIIIIIIIIINS!!!!!'. In my defence though, the whole thing was pretty magical. You gotta give me the moment of being a five-year-old!
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